Today my head seems pretty good - though I did have to pop 6 OTC pain killers - those aren't the ones you need to consult the pros/cons list before enlisting in the battle to fight pain.
Although the air quality seems questionable today - the pressure seems steady - which to me, matters more.
Learning my brain, my body, my triggers takes infinite skills in observation - which I thought I had. Apparently I do not. Ten plus years into this battle and I am STILL learning new things, making new discoveries.
For once I would like to be the patient and not a self-advocate. Maybe I need God to be my doctor.
I'd settle for doll house medicine - oh, isn't that now called C/T scan?
This is me putting it out into the universe - fix me I am broken. And frustrated. It is impossible to live well when your brain hurts, nearly constantly. Fighting for your recovery feels a lot like admiting you are sick. I don't want to be sick, nor do I want to be broken.
I may sound down, but I am not out...tomorrow I take another step to becoming whole.
Are we truly broken? A headache, in the greater scheme of things, might be insignificant.
ReplyDeleteNo, I am not coming down. It is all about perspecive. Remind self; issues are small.
A little 5 year old girl lost her battle to cancer today. She went away smiling. She had nothing negative to say. She left optimistic.
I felt egotistical. Our lives are headaches as they pose indecipherable.
At the end maybe it is as simple as taking a sleeping pill and hope to start all over again tomorrow.
God could pose to be your biggest headache if you call upon Him but suddenly fail to answer.